09 Oct

Margaret and Helen

Helen and Margaret’s Pledge to America

Margaret, the problem with Populism is that the population includes asses like Sarah Palin and her Tea Party.  Someone needs to remind them that this is America.  The government is elected by the people.  Questioning your government is patriotic.  Hating your government, one the other hand,  is simply a form of self loathing.

And let’s talk about that hatred.  It seems so at odds with the supposed Christian morals they so proudly espouse.  They hate big government but instead of taking issue with the largest part of that government – the military – they take issue with healthcare.  They hate big government in healthcare but they have no issue with government being big enough to intervene in the private health decisions of a woman seeking to end a pregnancy or the private decisions of a husband wanting to end the decade long sufferings of his wife.  They hate big government but they don’t seem to hate using government to legislate hate against homosexuals.  And they hate big government, but they don’t seem to hate it when they can use it to fuel their hatred.  Gosh I hate that…

And now those morons in Washington with the “R” after their names have made another pledge to America.   I guess it’s just one more thing they can do today and then ignore tomorrow .   A Contract With America.   A Pledge to AmericaMission Accomplished.   For goodness sakes how many times are we going to fall for this prank?  They spend years screwing everything up and then eventually pledge to not do it again.  How about not doing it the first time… or the second time for that matter?

 Here is my pledge to you Margaret.  I hope you like it.

I pledge that I will actually read the Constitution before pledging to uphold it.  And I pledge that if I am too stupid to understand its intent,  I won’t become a politician.

I pledge not to start two wars, give tax breaks to millionaires, ruin the economy and then get mad when someone shows me the bill.

I pledge not to be a hypocrite or a Tea Party Republican – whichever comes first.

I pledge to remember that religious freedoms apply to all religions including the lack of a religion.  And I pledge to remember that no matter how much I believe in my religion, I will remember that my neighbor believes in his religion just as much.  And finally, I pledge that if I believe in my religion too much I will keep it to myself.

I pledge to stop calling Sarah Palin a stupid bitch when she finally admits that she is too stupid to run this country.  At that point I will simply call her a bitch and let the stupid speak for itself.

I pledge that I won’t hate gay people in public and then sleep with them in private.

I pledge to accept the fact that John McCain really can’t pull his head out of his ass at this point.  It’s in too deep.

I pledge not to be shocked when Rick Sanchez announces his new show on Fox News.

I pledge to remember that there are 6 billion people in the world and only 300 million of them live in the United States .  And with 300 million Americans to choose from, we can’t do better than John Boehner?  Really?

And Margaret, my dear, I pledge that I will vote on November 2.  I meant it.  Really.

 Here is my pledge to you dear.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

That about sums it up, dear.  That and Endust is as good if not better than Pledge.


The Real Housewife of Wasilla

Margaret, that Sarah Palin sure seems to be enjoying her moment in the spotlight.   And it appears she got another one of her Tea Party candidates one step closer to November 2nd.  Now,  I for one don’t begrudge her all this newly found fame and fortune.  I still think she is an idiot, but I don’t begrudge her all this success.   I just wish she came by it in a way that didn’t involve the fate of our nation…. like maybe being on The Real Housewives of Wasilla

I hear she is about to have her own television show on the Learning Channel.  Do you think she will learn anything?  And when exactly did the Learning Channel become the Learning Deficiency Channel?

Well, I say good for her.   If there was ever a person who was destined to be on one of those dysfunctional reality shows it would be Sarah Palin.  Maybe she will eat a rat like that little one on the The View. I hope she has huge ratings and gets out of politics for good.  Because stupid on television is one thing.  But stupid running our nation… well George Bush proved that to be a really bad idea.

Before that jackass preacher down in Florida decided not to burn the Quran, Ms. Palin sent out a little one of those face tweeter things.  She said she thought burning the Quran was as bad as building that mosque in Manhattan.  Leave it to an idiot to denounce one form of religious intolerance by promoting another form of religious intolerance.   

It’s a damn Burlington Coat Factory.  Did you know that Margaret?  This building they consider to be on sacred ground – or at least sacred ground for everyone but Muslims – is a Burlington Coat Factory.  Has everyone gone crazy?  It’s not at ground zero and it’s not even a mosque, honey.  It’s a cultural center.  And as far as sacred ground goes, we really should be careful.   They have a whole lot of “sacred ground” in the Middle East and it tends to cause never-ending wars.   This country already goes to war too often for sacred oil.  We don’t need to add sacred ground to the list.

When exactly will common sense return to America?  Just how far can the Republican Party – now called the Tea Party – throw the bullshit before someone calls them on it?  You just have to pay attention to Sarah Palin for all of ten minutes before you realize just how deep it gets.  And now this Christine O’Donnell has waded into the mess.

Margaret, it just makes me want to cry sometimes.   But you know me.  When faced with idiots and jackasses, I don’t cry.  I bake a pie.

So have some pie and a little coffee.   I know you prefer tea, dear, but skip the tea and have some coffee for me until after November.  I mean it .  Really.

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